Confession: I’m super rude. I think terrible things about people and I judge them. I laughed to myself when a kid’s voice cracked a bunch in class today. Seriously, I’m a jerk. Ugh.
It’s frustrating and hard, and the worst part (well, maybe not, I’m still figuring this out) was that I was rude to my husband today. He seems to get the brunt of my ickiness. Sorry, sweet husband.
I texted my friend and said that I was grouchy (a mild description, as I was really just being bitchy) and she texted back these words:
We’re all rude. Grace is hard, man.
Ugh, why is grace so hard? And why are we so terrible to the people who love us most? I’m torn, because I think it’s awful to be jerks to the people who love us. But I also think it’s equally as awful to be jerks to the people in the world we don’t know or love. I definitely don’t show them love.
I watched a video today and I felt like I was going to be physically ill. I don’t know if I’ve ever had that reaction before. This man was going off about “God” and I just about barfed on my school-issued laptop (wouldn’t that be fun to explain to the principal?). I thought terrible things about this man and I wanted to punch him. I actually felt that, if he were in the room, I would have the desire to physically hurt the guy. How scary is that?
I was sorely disappointed in myself today for many reasons:
- Wanting to punch Mr. Fundamentalist Jerk.
- Being frustrated at the bike rack lady from Craigslist that forgot to show up.
- Teasing kids in my head as they acted their age.
- Getting mad at my husband for something completely out of his control.
- Being a judgmental driver.
- Praying that God would smack Mr. Fundamentalist Jerk in the face.
What is it with me and OC Supertones’ lyrics? I still love them dearly. As I was writing this post, my Pandora station of Five Iron Frenzy began playing the Supertones’ “Jury Duty” and it struck me.
I don’t always thank you for the rough days and
The hard times in my life
Even though I should
What does it look like to thank God for the rough days and the hard times in life? What does grace look like for daily life? I wish I were better at that.